Are you coaching, or giving advice with a question mark on the end?

Almost every leader I meet tells me they're committed to developing their people. I believe them. But wanting to develop people and being able to are two different things.

How do you actually develop someone without real coaching skills?

And I don't mean giving feedback or making suggestions. I don't mean the thing a lot of leaders call coaching, which is really just advice with a question mark on the end. "Have you thought about doing it this way?" isn't a coaching question. It's an instruction in disguise.

Coaching is about igniting resourcefulness in another person. Helping them find their own answer and build their own capability, rather than handing them yours.

For experienced leaders, that's the hard part. The more senior and expert you become, the more your identity is tied up in having the answers. In being the person people come to. Coaching asks you to let go of that. To hold back, stay quiet, and trust that the person in front of you is more capable than they think they are.

When we run coaching masterclasses, this is the moment that changes things. It hits hardest with the most experienced leaders in the room, not the least. When they realise what great coaching actually makes possible, you can see it. A whole way of leading they hadn't been using.

Developing others isn't a value you hold. It's a skill you build.

The leaders who build it stop being the person with all the answers. They become the reason their people grow.

If you want to help your senior leaders to make that shift, let's have a conversation.